Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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