It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize