he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
