do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
