You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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