i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
