Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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