What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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