this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
