she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
