My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she told me i tasted like america
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Randomize
