OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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