I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
