Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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