what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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