bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
