Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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