Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
