The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
we should paint friendship bongs
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