I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
