dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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