Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
