oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
