lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
