For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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