the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize