For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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