Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.

(1-313): View more from Michigan

I would love to give you more rug burn

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with

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(802): View more from Vermont

the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME

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(585): View more from New York

eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'

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(319): View more from Iowa

Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it

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(361): View more from Texas

I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.

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(207): View more from Maine

I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success

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(214): View more from Texas

I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.

(770): View more from Georgia

I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.

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