At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
