I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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