think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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