if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
