The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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