the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
