Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize