I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
