Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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