fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
