Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize