Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
