Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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