Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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