Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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