no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I would fuck him just for his dog
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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