she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
