I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
