He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the raccoons are back...
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