I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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