hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
