you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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