Need sex. Gaining weight.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
