He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
