She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize