Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My feet surprised me
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