Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
