I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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