from now on my penis is your penis
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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