I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
