We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
