Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
