I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
